Last night I knitted to my latest audiobook, Possession by A.S. Byatt (which is an old fave) and got to within three repeats of finishing the dishtowel that I’m making for The Baron’s sister in law, who is bringing her new baby for a visit in the next few weeks. I cannot wait – she says the little dumpling is happy and squishy and very cute! I would love to be able to knock out two towels in time for her visit — it’s fairly mindless knitting, so I think it should be easy.
And in the meantime, I am thrilled that I finally have so much yarn in the stash that is actually intended for projects. Even the yarn that I don’t know what to do with suddenly seems full of purpose. It’s becoming clearer to me what my next projects will (and should!) be and what yarn should go to the karma pile. It’s a bit scary, though, to feel like there are so many big projects to work on. Its becoming a very frustrating thing to feel as though all I really want to do is knit and blog. I really don’t believe that work should just be the interval outside of “living” that enables you to sustain life instead of being an integral part of the living.
So, secret fear: I’ve been exploring the possibility of teaching high school. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, and now that it actually might happen I am terrified. If I don’t like it, then what? If I’m not good at it, then what? I could chase my tail like this, in dizzy circles, forever. And it’s that spinny feeling, that frustration and anxiety, that lets me know it’s time to knit!